even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
