It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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