Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
