i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
