I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
