with your own penis?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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