elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
