god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
