similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
