If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
