i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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