He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
