i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
