he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
there is puke in my bra ... again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
