the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
