i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
