I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
