I hate your face
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
