my vag is so smooth its legendary
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
