yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
