i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
