you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
