Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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