she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
