It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
