she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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