i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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