even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
