he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
