wanna go halves on a baby?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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