belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
