I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize