you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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