just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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