Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
