my soul wont recognize me after tonight
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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