I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
