the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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