quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
