i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
