i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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