Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
