so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
