Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
