It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
