How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
