never play flip cup with pint glasses
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
