I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The air taste purple.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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