We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
