You made me cry and you don't even care
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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